Interview with Peasemeal Brose

LH 

It’s great to chat to you, PB, having connected a bit on Twitter and fb. I know you have a lot going on, so thanks for taking the time!

PB

Delighted to talk with you!

LH

So why don’t we start with you telling us how your love of Sanditon began?

PB

Well, I watched season one in January 2020, just before the world shut down, and found it really enjoyable - until it became clear that Charlotte was going to go for Sidney instead of Stringer. I watched (half-heartedly, eyes on my knitting) until the surprise ending, and while I know it broke many people’s hearts, I agreed with Theo James on it being much more interesting that way. It was intriguing, especially for an Austen-esque show - where were they going to take it from there??? Above all, I loved the idea of the first love not being the true love. 

LH

Oh I so agree. Jane Austen’s women didn’t have the luxury of that, so it felt really fresh to see it on screen. 

PB

Absolutely! I wanted another season because I really wanted to see where Charlotte would go next. I was amused when I heard Theo James wasn’t coming back, and then downright belly laughed when we saw him being buried first thing in season two.

Anyway, back in 2020, I’d wandered into the Sanditon Sisterhood online (briefly), signed a petition, retweeted a couple of tweets, and then Covid hit and Sanditon was the last thing on my mind. We moved (in December 2020), I had a baby a few months later and the wonderful experience of going through postpartum depression (which is why I’m gonna defend Lucy Colbourne until the cows come home).

LH

Wow, that was a lot - as someone who also suffered post-partum mental health problems (many years back, but still) I empathise, it’s really hard. 

When Amanda and I wrote the Ballad of Lucy and Alexander it was really emotional. And of course we understand mental health so much better than they did back then (even if the stigma remains at times), so it really is a heartbreaking storyline, isn’t it?

PB

Oh, that stigma definitely remains. And her story really is heartbreaking. I was once a part of a conversation where someone was saying how they just couldn’t understand how Lucy could have left Leo - and I was like, you truly believe that your child would be better off without you, that they’re going to have a better life without you being there as their mother. So yeah, while I don’t agree with some of her other choices (or not choices - depending whatever slant you take on the character), her story is always going to be one where I’m gonna defend her. It’s tragic and awful. And also, solidarity, you. It’s such a massive thing when you find yourself in the middle of it - yeah.

So when I finally started poking my nose out into the world again in 2022, I started seeing gifs of Sanditon season two in my Tumblr feed.

I think I watched season two for the first time in June 2022? I had a one year-old who’d just had major surgery, so I wasn’t really in a place where I was watching much (still am not, haha), but I do remember watching it and being… nonplussed? I thought it was alright. I was frustrated with the ending, but it didn’t instantly become my favorite thing in the world (at least, not like it is now). 

And then - this is going to sound absolutely hokey and I’m already completely embarrassed saying this - but in August of that year, out of the blue I had a dream and freaking Alexander Colbourne was in it. Not BLH, but particularly the character. Nothing racy or anything, he was just there, being his season-two self. But it was one of those dreams that sticks with you after you’ve woken up, you know? It’s vivid, sitting in your gut. I kept thinking about the character during the day, thought maybe I should give it another shot, and then pulled up some of Susan Firth’s excellent videos on YouTube before making the fatal decision of wandering over to AO3 where I proceeded to read Every. Single. Heybourne fic I could get my hands on. I devoured them. I rewatched the season (only the Heybourne parts), and by October, I was trying my own hand at fanfiction. 

LH

I wonder myself whether the show would have embedded itself so deeply in me without all the fanfic - like you I devoured everything that was out there. It’s a strange thing isn’t it, that (like GatHeart said last week) it’s such a perfectly imperfect show, isn’t it?

PB

It is! And I’m betting it probably wouldn’t have embedded as deeply without all the fics. Again, crossing myself to not bring the Sidlottes down on us, but I do wonder if *they* wouldn’t have been so up in arms over TJ leaving had their own Sidlotte fanfic not influenced them as much. Like - I learned that lesson early. I was really into Star Wars after Phantom Menace came out, and read some *brilliant* fics speculating what the Clone Wars would be like - and the fanfiction was so much better than the movies that there’s still a part of me that won’t watch the second and third movies as much. So anyway, I can sympathize with the Sidlottes - just a little. Especially if the Sidney in their stories is less of a douche than he was in canon - which, from a few converts whose posts I’ve read, that seems to be the case - that in the fics, he’s more of an Alexander Colbourne type… but I digress!

LH

So why do you write Heybourne? 

PB

Because I can’t not? Just when I think the fixation might be passing, another story will hit and I’ll be compelled to write it. This is definitely the longest fandom obsession I’ve had in my life as a fangirl, and I think that’s in part due to the Sisterhood. In other fandoms, I curated my little corner, stayed there, and that was it. In this fandom, I’ve made genuine friends; it’s not just an online experience. We’ve met up, we chat frequently if not every day, and not just about the fandom. Having people to talk about Heybourne with helps keep the ideas fresh, especially since we’re not getting new content from the show itself. But the fic writers are still going hard, still dreaming up new scenarios and situations that inspire other stories to be written - and it’s just great symbiosis!

LH

I love this element too - I’ve made brilliant friends and although I haven’t met them in person, as it were, we chat on the phone or WhatsApp chats all the time. I feel really lucky to have found this fandom.

PB

It’s really great! I was a little terrified when I committed to going to Rachel S’s house to binge-watch when season 3 dropped - I mean, I’d never done anything like that, meeting someone off the internet, agreeing to sleep at their house… but it was really great! Both she and callmemuldergirl have visited me two years running now, and I’ve got a list of places where I’m like, if I ever get to such-and-such an airport, maybe I could have a really long layover and visit so-and-so… The lovely bit is that so many people in here are also Janeites in general! Since finding Sanditon, I’ve joined JASNA and, once the kiddo gets a little older, I’m hoping to be more active in that and go to an AGM sometime!

I mean, there are downsides to the fandom too. It has its own toxic aspects, but overall, the same curating process from other fandoms works well enough here too! 

But apart from the fandom itself, the biggest reason I write is because I love the character of Alexander Colbourne (not just because he’s gorgeous and all that). But I feel an affinity with him. 

LH

You posted a comment on fb a while back about this and I honestly hadn’t thought of it in this way, and I realised I feel the same way, that I relate to him, too - I guess I always want to be the spunky heroine but I’m much more like Xander than Charlotte!

PB

I definitely wanted to be a Lizzie Bennet when I was younger, but that’s just not me at all! I did try for a time in my life to do as she snarked at Darcy from across the pianoforte, about taking the trouble to practice - but GIRL - Lizzie is an extrovert. She just doesn’t get it! You do get better with practicing, but you still just change how you’re hardwired to be. 

And I’m hardwired much more like Xander than Charlotte too - when I was rewatching season two, I was at a sort of crossroads in my life. I’d been a recluse for the last couple of years, partially due to the pandemic, but also due to having a baby and quitting my job, and moving to a small town during the pandemic and not knowing anyone (and anyone who’s ever moved to a small town knows that everyone knows everybody’s business from six decades back and you’re the outsider and it doesn’t matter how long you live there, you’ll always be the new person in town - yeah). Postpartum depression was a doozy. And I needed to decide what to do with myself, what kind of a life I was going to lead, and whether I was going to decide to make the changes I needed to make in order to have the sort of life that would be fulfilling to me. Enter Alexander Colbourne as sort of an avatar, a self-therapy option, I guess! I love writing redemption stories for him - and at the same time writing them for myself. Thankfully, I’ve got my own Charlotte in the form of my husband, who sticks with me through everything and keeps reminding me that I’m worthy of love. But yeah. I love his character.

LH

What strikes me about this is that when I chatted to Starboarder recently, we both rediscovered Sanditon when we were off sick. As she said, “Maybe we both needed our defences to be down to fully let Heybourne into our hearts…” 

And I hugely relate to what you’re saying here, as I too was at a crossroads. You’re making me examine my feelings about this in a new light - thank you! And you’re so right about writing out our own stories through this process - LushnessJackson and I have been chatting about this, writing as therapy!

PB

It is! As much as I like to think of it as an escape, I usually find myself circling back to the things that really bother me, the things within myself that need tending to. It’s the same metaphors over and over.

LH

So it sounds like the writing bug has well and truly got you, and I for one am not mad about that! What is the easiest part of writing? The hardest? 

PB

The easiest part is starting! You’re daydreaming, thinking, “What if…?” and BAM - a new story idea has you around the throat. The first few chapters fly, usually needing very little editing, and then it starts to get trickier with the middlin’ parts when you’re trying to keep things cohesive. I always have a great fear of ‘sticking the landing’ and making it a satisfying finish, so I am definitely going to be taking a leaf out of Aries’ book next time and not post a single thing until the rough draft is done. Not just an outline, but a solid draft. Otherwise, I tend to get into my own head too much and have trouble writing *anything* due to paralysis.

LH

I think every single one of the writers know exactly what you’re saying…

PB

It’s such a wicked thing!!! I had twelve chapters of “Holdfast” mostly ready to go before starting - and now, I’m beginning to panic! 

Oh, and I hate writing dinner parties. But more on why later!

LH

Ha! Well I guess what you’ve described in terms of the middle section and landings, I’m intrigued to hear how you go about planning your stories? 

PB

Well, once the “What if…?” has taken root, if it’s a one-shot, I just sit down and write it. If it’s apparent that it’s turning into a multi-chapter work, I’ll stop what I’m doing (usually at Hannah’s prodding - thank you, Hannah) and outline the whole dang thing. First the major plot points, then the smaller plot points, then details to flesh it out. Then the rough draft, which usually flows best if I’m writing it on my phone - no quotation marks or anything that could slow it down, and usually it’s written in present tense, as if I’m actually there and am writing down what I’m seeing, all very immediate. If I don't do this, it's a terribly slow and painful writing process that leaves me feeling as if I can't string a proper sentence together. 

LH

Wow, that’s the most plotted of everyone I’ve spoken to so far. I feel like I’m less alone as I do quite a bit of detailed planning. 

I’m interested that you write in the present tense and you edit that out. That’s fascinating.

PB

I don’t want to spoil any other interviews for other authors, but I know you and I are not alone! And yeah, I actually only realized that it was all present tense as I was thinking about the questions for this interview, so thanks for helping me realize that! 

So once that rough draft has been sat upon for a few days (or weeks… or months…), I’ll rewrite the whole thing from beginning to end on my laptop. And that’s where everything starts coming together, fiddling with it until it ‘feels right’. 

Then I prefer to print out each chapter and edit it the old-fashioned way before sending it off to Hannah and Felicia to edit, but honestly I haven’t had time to do that with “Holdfast” like I have for the others. Still, I feel my best editing happens with paper and pen. I strike out a lot of the fluff and extra words that just don’t need to be there. It usually ends up shorter but feeling a lot stronger after putting in those edits. And now you know why it sometimes takes forever for me to get a chapter out!

LH

So you’re the first person since Janice to have an analogue approach…

PB

*high fives Janice* I don’t know what it is, but I’m connecting with it more when I’m reading it on paper, coming up with things and catching things that I didn’t when staring at a screen. Maybe it’s the light? Or the lack of a blinky cursor mocking me? I don’t know! It’s just easier to get in the zone.

But even with all the planning, it doesn’t always turn out according to the script. The characters decide something’s better, or I’ll get another idea and keep running. “Ball” was supposed to be eight chapters! 

LH

Wow, that’s quite a shift to how its turning out! And interesting you say its sometimes because the characters have other ideas. It seems like all of us have them living rent free in our heads! What’s that like for you?

PB

Rent free, indeed! Well, they sure live there, but writing them is a different animal. For me, it’s not so much of hearing them say what they’re going to say, but me hopping into their perspective, inhabiting them to get into their heads. Like if you get a script, and you have to become that person, finding their mannerisms, and a new way of thinking and behaving. Hence, if it’s just one person in a scene, it’s really straightforward. Two people having a conversation, still not bad. But the more people you add, the more complicated it gets, especially when there are more major players in the room (and more extroverts who love to speak up every single chance they get). 

LH

Ha! Looking at you, Samuel Colbourne…

PB

I wish I was that quick-witted, but gosh if I’m not destined to think of the perfect response four hours later, minimum. So just the nature of writing a fast-paced scene is not a happy thought. And the more intense the scene is, the more it’s like: person A says something, FREEZE SCENE - how would everybody else in the room react to this? Who would speak first? What is each individual thinking, what would they say if they spoke right now, and what kind of body language are they displaying? That, with each line of dialogue. Doing that and having it feel authentic, it’s a nightmare. I hated the Heyrick dinner party in ‘Ball’, because there were all these big players all in the same room, and you know *where* you need to be at the end of the scene, but *how* do you get there and not have it feel like people are just speaking random token lines so you don’t forget they’re there- nope. No thank you. It takes for freaking ever. So yeah, it’s more like me inhabiting them than them telling me. I wish they’d just tell me, haha.

LH

That’s so interesting.

PB

You can say crazy, it’s okay…

LH

Not at all!

I think of you as one of the queens of ‘what if?’s, as you almost always take us off in new directions from canon with your variations. So what’s the scene from the show that you go back to again and again?

PB

Besides couch kiss and the whole dialogue leading up to it? No - that’s it. It’s quite literally the point I remember the first time I watched that season in June 2022 (apart from screeching about the impropriety of them being ALONE at his HOUSE at NIGHT what were the writers thinking?!?!?) - and I went - daaaaang that man can kiss. Holy freaking cow. Despite all its faults, I love season two best (probably because I still haven’t made peace with season three yet - I’m still salty about it and just - yeah, “Holdfast” is my way of dealing with it by not really dealing with it…). 

LH

There’s a lot of us in the ‘Still Salty’ club - its why I wrote Enough! And again I’m not mad about you being cross if it keeps you creating new variations for us!

PB

Ha, yeah, that’s what we’re all doing, right? Channeling that anger into productivity! Oh, and another favorite scene is the deleted scene of Alexander walking the grounds. I can’t get enough of that. I want more of it. And more of Heybourne in general.

LH

What are you most proud of having written?

PB

I still love “The Ghosts of Christmas”. It was my first multi-chapter work, and it sprang fully-formed out of my mind thanks to “The Muppets’ Christmas Carol” soundtrack (bizarre, but true). And it somehow also turned out the wash basin scene, which others seem to like just as much as I do, so yeah. I’m pretty proud of that fic, and it’s probably always going to be my darling.

LH

I love it too, and even more so now I know the TMCC soundtrack inspired it!

PB

Yes!!! Believe it or not it was “Scrooge” - “When a cold wind blows it chills you, chills you to the bone - but there’s nothing in nature that freezes your heart like years of being alone” - granted, the rest of the song didn’t apply, but those lines got stuck in my head and that’s what bore the story! Such a great movie…

LH

So, you mentioned corners of other fandoms, earlier, do you write in any others? 

PB

Hooooooo boy. Currently? No - I don’t have as much time as I’d wish to write for *this* fandom. But I first tried my hand at writing fanfiction when I was… thirteen? Fourteen? It was for Star Wars, then Harry Potter, I think maybe some Lord of the Rings in there too? Oh, and Alias, the TV show with Jennifer Garner. Once I started college I didn’t have time for anything that wasn’t class-related, and I ended up not writing fic again until Sanditon in October 2022. But now that I think of it, I did try to start one for Downton Abbey that never saw anything beyond an outline…

But I promise you that you do not want to read the old stuff. I didn't even post most of what I wrote, it was just for my own enjoyment and that of my friends at school. That’s not to say it’s all tosh, but twenty-plus years of living lends a bit more perspective to your writing. But let me tell you, churning out obscene amounts of text when I was in my early teens helped me learn to type pretty darn fast, which has definitely helped me now when there’s not much time to write!

LH

It's a truth universally acknowledged that you get better at writing by writing - well, and getting feedback. But most of all this really should be fun, even if we’re (supposedly) grown-up!

PB

Absolutely! Before this fandom I was into Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and the Rebelcaptain ship (nerd). But jumping from Jyn & Cassian to Charlotte & Alexander wasn’t too great a leap - people who believe they’re irredeemable, finding redemption. I’m such a sucker for that, and it's also why I love the cornflower metaphor so much - for the healing of poisoned wounds!!! I don't think I'll ever get over that. 

And like, forget the dudes who are supposed to be “hot” by whatever standards of beauty society is currently putting on men (in an attempt to get us to fall for some pretty horrible behavior because “OH NO, he’s hot” - pardon me while I lose my supper). 

LH

<coughs> I cannot imagine who you are referring too. Hahaha…

PB

Me neither. We’re not naming names here or anything…

But give me a Samwise Gamgee any day of the week, with a loyal and stout heart. Give me a Darcy who can set aside their pride and voluntarily change their behavior because they’re able to acknowledge their faults. That is the beauty of P&P, for Elizabeth as well as Darcy. The romance part is nice, yeah, so is the ten-thousand a year, but gosh that’s not the heart of it. 

LH

Oh my god, so much this!

PB

Yes! That ability to look at yourself and realize you’ve been blind and haughty and terrible - and then work to effect change so you’re not just going to keep living that way, regardless of whether anyone else sees it. The world needs more of that. End of soap box rant.

LH

Preach! I love this.

So what scene by another writer (fanfic, screenwriter, or any writer actually!) are you most jealous of and wish you’d written?

PB

I’m not sure if ‘jealous’ is the right word, but for fanfic, I cannot pass up a chance to talk about downagravelroad’s “A Tale as Old as Time”. That fic still has me in a chokehold. Xander ‘tasting blue’ freaking lives inside of me, and the ink-stained fingers paralleling his talons - GAHHHHH. I am absolutely rabid for it. Just feral. I might be a tad bit biased, because I get the joy & privilege of seeing all the behind the scenes stuff that goes into her work, but I just love her writing. World-building is intimidating to me - part of the reason I love writing Regency is that it’s like wandering onto a playground: the world is already there, built, ready to be played with. But she creates worlds outside of that. It’s similar in good Star Wars fics - I appreciate those writers who can do that, building something from nothing, making it feel lived-in and familiar while being totally brand new. And Hannah’s got that. When you’re reading it, you’re there. I adore it.

LH

Oh you are so right, Hannah is a masterful writer. ATAOAT is epic, a standout in the fandom.

PB

Yes, and I’m going to keep talking about that story to every Heybourne fan until I’m in my grave. “EXCUSE ME, MA’AM, have you yet read ATAOAT?!?!?!? You haven’t, WHY HAVEN’T YOU??? Oh, you think it’s about werewolves? Oh, sweetie pie, honey bunch, it is so much more than that…”

Also, is it lame to say Jane Austen herself? 

LH

Absolutely not!

PB

Good, because she is just - she’s the queen for a reason. I’m rereading the Big Six before going into everything else she’s written and just recently finished Emma - and I’m just in awe? That she wrote them by hand? With no copy and pasting??? It’s been particularly fun with Emma, knowing the ending this time through and going back to the beginning to see all the clues that are so blatantly obvious the second time around, but when you’re reading it for the first time, mostly in the head of an unreliable narrator, you just don’t see it coming - wow. It’s just brilliant. Sheer brilliance. I hate ‘plot twists’ that don’t make sense. If you’re gonna throw people for a loop, it’s got to make sense. And in Emma, it’s all there. You just can’t *see* it until the ending. Fricking love Jane Austen. There’s always something new in her works to pick up on no matter how many times you read them, for you as a reader have changed. And that’s an absolute delight!

And can you imagine how she’d have been with a laptop?! CAN YOU IMAGINE the wealth of words we’d have from her?!?

LH

I’d not thought of that!

PB

Oh, and I’ve got to give a shout-out here to the Derbyshire Writer’s Guild. I read Pride & Prejudice my senior year of high school, right before the 2005 adaptation dropped, and I fell head over heels into love with Jane Austen. Like, I dressed up as Elizabeth Bennet for senior prom (like the nerd I am). 

LH

Hahaha

PB

Thank you, yes - I had no shame then and less now as far as being a nerdy fangirl. I never posted on DWG myself, but gosh - there’s this one story - I haven’t read it in almost 20 years, but it’s called “The Life and Opinions of Gilroy Hurst, Gentleman” and it was so unexpectedly brilliant and delightful that it’s stuck with me all this time. It’s a 167K fic written from the POV of Mr. Hurst from P&P - you know, the older of Mr. Bingley’s sisters, her drunkard of a husband - who, in the fic, is not nearly as drunk as everyone thinks. It was unique, hilarious - who on earth would write a story from his perspective?! It’s another one of those “What if…?” scenarios that’s just so creative. I mean, it’s been nearly twenty years, and I still chortle when I think of Abaddon, the rooster of destruction. That’s what fanfiction can do. Twenty years later, I’m still laughing about something that absolutely no one else will understand unless they’ve read that particular story.

LH

Wow, that’s fantastic. Incidentally I have heard others in the JAFF/P&P groups I’m part of talk about that story too. I wonder if its now on Kindle? I’ll have to check!

PB

SERIOUSLY?!?! OTHER PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT IT?!?!?! I need the names of these groups and to meet these people so I can squee with them about this. Seriously, that makes my day. It’s such a good fic in my memory and I need to reread it!!! I don’t think it’s published, not like some of the others - but here it is:

https://www.dwiggie.com/derby/old_2003/esth1.htm It’s an old site, from the days of FF.N and online forums, well before AO3 came into existence - but there’s some absolutely wonderful stories on there. I also loved everything I read by an author on there named Peter. Just great stuff!

LH

So writing has clearly had a major impact on you over the years, what is the essence of good writing, for you? What do you always hope people experience in yours?

PB

This seems like a loaded question! But having the basics down helps (which I say because sometimes I wonder if I can English at all): finding errors in spelling, grammar, funky paragraph breaks or lack thereof, punctuation - the rules can be bent, but gosh, if I’m getting pulled from the narrative due to being distracted by basic errors, it’s no bueno. I want to sink into the world and stay in the world, not be pulled from it. Same with anachronistic things. I’ve sunk countless hours into research rabbit holes to try to make it as historically accurate as possible (and learning new things is fun!). So overall, this is another opportunity to thank Felicia and Hannah for making sure I’ve properly worded the words.

LH

Yay for wonderful beta readers!

PB

Yay for them! 

But apart from the basics… I don’t have a broad-spectrum answer for that, because honestly, apart from writing stories from my own life, I only write fanfic. But for fanfic, and what I strive for in my writing, is that, whatever situation I’ve put the characters in, they stay in-character and make sense for who they are. So when people comment that they can ‘see’ or ‘hear’ the characters in whatever chapter, it’s a big win for me, a huge compliment. Like with ‘Holdfast’, I knew if would be a big stretch for many Heybourne fans who don’t ever want to consider Charlotte being married to Sidney (or, even worse, enjoying any aspect of being married to him). So that I’ve managed to get people to come along for the ride and be excited about it, well, I float for days after getting that sort of feedback. I screenshot those comments, and I bring them out when I feel like I’ll never write anything good again, or if I question whether I’ve *ever* written anything good to begin with. Believe me, it’s awful to see when those comments arrive; I get all high-pitched and inarticulate.

LH

I think we can all relate. All I can say is I’m thankful to have Amanda at those moments!

PB

We definitely need our cheerleaders! And it’s so easy to *say* that to another person, to build them up - but then when it gets turned around when *you* need to hear it, it’s a whole lot harder to accept. But that’s the way it is!

But yeah. Characters staying in-character. Because that’s what got me writing in the first place - Charlotte being so terribly out of character at the end of season two, letting him send her away. It just didn’t - and still doesn’t - make sense to me. Nevermind season three Charlotte. But let’s not go there. 

LH

No, let's not…

PB

Ha! I think it goes hand-in-hand with the whole plot twist thing - it’s got to make sense. You put them in a different situation, of course they’re going to end up different people (which is why the Xander of “Holdfast” reacts a bit differently - he’s not a shouter in this fic, he can’t afford to be, not with all he’s experienced in London in having to keep his head down). But they still have to *feel* like them. Because at what point are they only the character in name alone? It’s kind of a Ship of Theseus thing. So if I can bend them just enough so that they’re still feeling like themselves, I consider it a win. 

LH

As I said, as one of the queens of ‘what if’s in this fandom, I think I can definitely say you do that. Well, this has been super fun! Thanks for sharing so candidly, and as I said you have given me some real food for thought. And I think others will really relate, too. 

And I know you have a lot on, even without being in the middle of writing two, or is it three fics now?!

PB

I’m chuckling here… yeah, there’s a new one. It’s a bit of a love letter to my Dwiggie reading days (Derbyshire Writer’s Guild - seriously people, check it out - I don’t think all of those stories made it onto FF.N or AO3). It’ll be a bit longer until it’s posted, but I was using it as a palate cleanser for writing the angst of “Holdfast”. To me, it’s a crack fic. But Hannah says it’s too plausible to be a crack fic, so eh, it’s still a crack fic in my head because it’s such a departure from anything I’ve written before. It’s ridiculous. 

But yes, this has been so much fun! Thanks for having me!